Adverts

Where to begin?

When I was a kid, I used to really like adverts on TV, I don't know why but maybe it's just because I was highly suggestable or something.

These days it's different, I hate them, I them with a passion.  I hate them on TV and I hate them on the Radio.

There are so many reasons why I hate them so I shall outline a few of them here.

Advert music.

I've not got a problem with jingles, they serve a purpose and give a brand its identity.  I have a problem with the background music that seems to be on all adverts these days.  You know the kind that I mean, the hand-clapping, ukelele-plucking, whistling, sickly sweet music that is jolly but completely inoffensive.  It's not inoffensive, it offends me.  I would like to know the thinking behind the music choice as it's not the kind of music that you find on Radio 2 or Magic FM so why do they choose it?

Along with the music, there's a sub-genre known as 'advert singing'.  If it's coming from a man then it's usually some cretin with a Mockney accent and a with a Ukelele.  For the lady singers, it's often a cover of some pop song from the 80's (maybe Depeche Mode or something).  To cover a song from the 70's/80's does not necessarily mean disaster but the way they sing it is just horrible.  The following is from an advert for a brand of tea that I have found myself enjoying a lot less since hearing it, it's a cover of a classic Fleetwood Mac song and as you'll see, it ticks all of the boxes. 

Sometimes it's not a cover, take this horrible song as seen on an ad for a dreadful (but should probably remain nameless) new operating system for PC's.  It's a female singer with kooky lyrics and plinky piano sounds, everything they seem to want when they try and sell you an upgrade for your PC.  I listened to it for a few seconds but I had to turn it off before I fell into a diabetic coma.  

Simply horrible. 

Coming soon, adverts that prey on your fears and hilariously bad disclaimers...